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| Questions are a substantial part of our lives. It is quite impossible that our curious minds would not have the strength to push ourselves to inquire about something we want to know. Like everybody else, I find myself in a number of questions thrown out by people on a daily basis. However, not all those are new to me. "San galing ung pangalan mo?" is the most frequent one that I encounter. I don't get irritated when I hear that phrase, but I do get tired of answering with the same line. "Sa artista, Tatum O' Neal," I would tell them. I would love to have the chance to get asked things like "Sino ang isang Tatum Ramos?", "Ano ang mga gusto niyang gawin?", etc.. I want someone to know more about me and not just about my name. It sounds so corny when I put it like that, but I've never really come across such questions. I hope someday I would, but for now, I'd like to lay down my characteristics for the first time to the people who are reading my blogs. Even if you're not asking for them, here they come. *laughs evilly* The first thing that people have to know about me is that I worry about things too much. Even the little ones, which are not worthy to think about, are stuck in my mind longer than they should be. The time I learned that I have Scoliosis is one thing. I cried in front of the doctor when I saw the x-ray. It was like the end of the world for me. After two years, I took the medical check-up in UPD which includes a chest x-ray. I was given the information that from 26 degrees, it increased to 36. Good thing about it is that I've learned how to face such occurrences. I visited two Orthopedic Doctors after to know what I would have to do. The first one told me that a brace will no longer prevent the increase in curve, and I'd have to face surgery if the degree becomes 50. The doctor was looking all creepy and serious, but I pulled myself together and stayed calm. The second one told me that the 26-degree curve did not change at all, and I don't have to worry about anything since it would not increase anymore. 0_0 Worrying too much is a negative thing, but I benefited from it as well. I learned to give importance to the people surrounding me. My family and friends lessen the uneasiness during those times and help me gain composure. Most importantly, I learned how to hold on to God. My faith helps me remember His power to change everything including my outlook on things. Like any other person, I, too, have negative opinions on different things. I criticize people when I know that they're doing something wrong, and I point out subjects that I'm not interested in. Despite all these, I always try turning those things upside down. I voice out to people who I want to change and also try to understand being in their shoes. I know that I'm not the one who's always right which is why I open my mind to different possibilities. I also try to learn more about the topics I'm not into. I always want to know why they catch the attention of some people. This helps me to at least respect or in a brighter sense, appreciate what they love. There was the time when I was browsing for a video on Youtube. I was not able to find what I was looking for, so I went to the homepage to see what other people are watching at that time. I don't usually do that, but it was for the sake of watching something to kill the boredom. I randomly clicked on a video which turned out to be a Filipino singer whose name is Gabe Bondoc. I didn't know him, but decided to load his clip anyway. Little did I realize that I would idolize him later on for his very soothing voice. My point is that I find it really pleasant to change my perspective on things if I'm really the one who's not on the right track. Finding something from what I once thought was nothing brings me happiness. The process of finding out what you're curious about is the best part of learning. Most people tend to forget that it's always a two-way process. Both persons involved in it are experiencing something great for the one who asks gains knowledge and the one who responds imparts it. Sharing what you know will not only be of help to others, but it will also help you remember. It may also motivate you to know more about a specific topic. In my case, I've learned more about myself by making this blog. It's great to know that I have the ability to turn my weaknesses into strengths. Unfortunately, I've yet to talk to someone about this on the other end to complete the two-sided process. 0_0 | | |
| "All the things that you learned in high school will be helpful to you when you go to the next phase of education, but that knowledge will just be a tiny dot of what you will be learning," my dad once told me. I've kept that idea in mind for many months, and until now, I still contemplate on that single sentence. I had a problem facing the truth: I have to start my new life and remember the past as simply a lesson to apply on some situations in the future. Consequently, I thought of ways on how to separate the two stages. I drew a thin line between them, so that I could easily go back to what I had whenever I would want to. However, there's always this idea that I am already a university student. I have to learn to close the windows (note: not doors) to my comfortable life in high school. Decisions, such as what I just made, are essential to one's life. Unfortunately, in my case, there are still uncertainties even after i have decided to do something. One of these is my taking up of BS Economics in UP Diliman. A lot of people have been asking why I took that course. I respond to them with my persuasive skills just to let them know that I am sure of the route that I chose. What they don't know is that I AM NOT. I've always thought that if I use such skills to them, it may also influence me. I came up with a bunch of reasons just to feel that satisfaction that everybody has been talking about. Here's a list of what I have been saying to people: 1. I don't know what my specialization is. I don't even know where I'm good at, so I just chose something where I get mediocre grades. 2. I might as well take something that my dad wants since I don't know what I want. 3. There are only two choices for me: a pre-law or a pre-med course. I'm not good in Science, so that's that. 4. I didn't know that computations are necessary in Economics. I'm doomed to take Math for the rest of my dreadful life. 5. I like serious stuff. It's fun to know something that others don't understand. It's selfish, but I've always envied people who read the financial pages of the newspaper and actually know what they're reading. Now it's my time to learn and be cool to some people (e.g. the current me). 6. I can work at the bank if I get tired of studying which I think is impossible. 7. I'm up for the challenge. Let's see if I can stay up during classes. *evil laugh* 8. I have a feeling that it will get me interested... somewhere in time. 0_0 9. Mareng Winnie will be my professor in Econ 11. That's something to look forward to. 10. I want to be rich. Bow. If all else fails, I'll shift to another course. | | |
| i originally planned on making letters for my classmates as a remembrance of my friendship with them, but i was always out of paper whenever i thought of doing it. what a coincidence, right? lol. just kidding, i really had no time to do it because of all those graduation practices and "stuff" (karen's most used word) i've been doing. anyway, it really did not occur to me that there is a big probability that i would not see my friends anymore. not a single tear dropped from my eyes during the graduation ceremony which proves of my innocence during the period. i saw my girl buddies crying that day and i wondered why i was not. i thought that i would cry soon, but april 13 came and still, there was nothing. the day ended with our goodbyes to each other, but that was it for me. i went home asking myself where the remains of my soft side were. i figured it out, but i do not want to deviate from my topic. it was only yesterday when i looked at the old pictures with my friends that i realized how much i miss them. it all came crashing down to me - no more sleepovers, picture takings, corny jokes, videokes, movies with those longtime classmates of mine. the idea that i would no longer get to hang out with them as frequent as i did back then scares me because not only have i treated them as my friends, but i also have referred to them as my confidantes. each of them is special to me, which is why i think that my high school life would never had been complete if i had not met even one person. Jeff - i've seen jeff grow from a boy who tells corny jokes (no offense to him) to a man worthy of being taken seriously. he does not complain when a heavy task is given to him and does not argue with a person belittling his abilities. he has always been a gentleman and a good listener to us girls. thanks jeff. =) Norlan - he has always been the ideal boyfriend and still continues to be one despite the many heartbreaks. i really look up to him and see him as someone mature. although the guys always pick on him with his household abilities, those are a plus for most girls because this side of him shows how much you can depend on him. being a friend of him means that you have someone to trust and hold on to in times of trouble. he's just one text away. thanks borbor. =) Errol - even though i did not get the chance to be his close friend, i still appreciate being his classmate. sure, i've been close to him, but i mean it in a figurative way. everyone knows we're from the same street, but we're not really the type of neighbors you see on tv where the kids go over each other's houses. still, i'd say he's a nice and fun person. thanks errol. =) Caluya - "the emo guy" is my music buddy. he gives me the latest news in the music industry and supplies me with great songs. it's good that he (somehow) moved on with his past love because it helped me to become closer to him. i've also learned so much from him - be it music, love, or life. thanks caluya. =) Riel - riel is one of my guy friends and i do think he's one of the best guys i've ever met. once you've been his friend, you can make sure that you'll experience a relationship (although i'm not sure with the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. lol) that can last forever. he's the type that stays beside you and doesn't go missing when you have problems. you don't need to ask for him, he's simply there when you need him. moreover, you'll feel safe when you're with him... and i think that this aspect is what most girls are looking for in a man. unfortunately, riel was given the award "chickboy of the year", so let's just go back to the first characteristic - riel is a great friend. lol. thanks riel. =) Dela - dela is one of those exam geeks. he surprisingly gets a passing score in any exam that he takes even without the studying process. he was given slots for ECE at UP Diliman and Mapua (don't ask me why he chose the latter instead of the UP). i admire his achievements, but not the decisions he makes upon being granted such things. we're not really great friends, but he's someone who talks to you when given a chance. Mark - for the three years we've been classmates, i've wished to get close to this guy. the funny thing is that i never had the chance. i'm not sure if he had been avoiding me or we just didn't have the time to get to know each other. contemplate on that for a a moment and you'll realize that the former is more plausible. this may seem acrid, but i think this is what disappointment brings to a person. despite the feeling that i have now, i still thank him for that one period wherein we spoke to each other. Rabbi - i see rabbi as a reliable, responsible and trustworthy guy. you can always reach out to him and ask for advice whenever you need one. he's someone who you can talk to openly because he never conceals his impressions and opinons. even though he's an unavailable guy when it comes to love, he's always there for his friends and never forgets to reserve some time for them. Jeremiah - | | |
| dianne - hi dianne! by the time you read this, graduate na tayo ng high school! yipee! how cool is that? madadagdagan na naman ung mga kaibigan natin. bago magreact, sinabi ko ay "madadagdagan" hindi "mapapalitan". i believe there's a big difference with the definition of those two words. you know that of course. but anyway, the point is you'll never be replaced as my bestfriend. it's possible for me to find another close friend in college, but you will always be the best one that i have. i never believed that true friends will never fight because of small things, but i experienced that kind of friendship with you. you fill in my spaces. you quickly tell me if you think i did or said something wrong. you never hesitate when it comes to that point...and i love you for that (as a friend siyempre! haha.) continue na lang sa susunod. | | |
| i feel like it has been a million years since i last posted an entry here. it's just that i've been too busy with school and i have (pretty much) nothing exciting going on in my life. at least that's what i think my life is, but if you ever wanna know what happened to me these past few years (?), this is a recap of what i'd like to call "my boring life". i passed the UPCAT... it was a bright and sunny day when all of a sudden, gizelle (my friend) sent me an instant message. "pasado ka?" she asked. at that very moment, thunderbolts struck me and rain poured down on me as though there was no tomorrow. it took me almost three hours before i saw the result of my exam. i even had the chance to load a korean movie at mysoju.com (not advertising). after finishing the movie, i tried to load it again. i realized that the green (loading?) bar below was almost full and that... was when i started praying. you should have seen me at that time. i was freaking serious and anxious at the same time. then, the search engine showed up. i typed my name and TADA! Ramos, Tatum Palad, aka student number 2009-10083 is qualified for the course BS Economics at UP Diliman! wooopdeedoo! hooray! well, there's really nothing to brag about that. i have yet to prove to myself that i can survive the university which people sometimes call hell. maybe by the time that i graduate college as a UP Economics Student, i can finally allow myself to buy and actually wear a UP T-shirt. generalization: from this moment on, my goal is to purchase a UP T-shirt. i watched the four seasons of the TV Series "How I Met Your Mother"... it's like the second best comedy tv series next to FRIENDS. actually, they have the same theme, but that's what makes it great. i really really love it. i don't want to be a spoiler if you ever want to watch it, so i won't narrate to you the things that happened in the four seasons. one thing that i learned from this tv show is that you don't always end up with the people you imagine you'll be with in the future. experiencing love with different people, breaking up with them, and letting go makes you a better person and a better half for your future husband or wife. i went to the prom and got bored... the promenade was at the Alabang Country Club which was literally smaller than Bellevue. when i walked down with Norlan for the entrance thing, i noticed that the dance floor is the size of a sidewalk. sheeeesh. i really hated everything even the food (can you believe it? i hated the food which is, by the way, always delicious to me when served at gatherings...until now. O-O). our table was even far from the dance floor which makes it suck more 'cause i needed to walk back and forth whenever some guy "friend" had asked me to dance with him. well, it's not like i was asked many times. i have to say that the number of single batchmate guys have decreased as of the year 2009  . this makes it boring for us single ones. most guys who are in a relationship now danced only with their girlfriends and forgot about their (former?) FRIENDS whom they recently gave up because they already have what they want (oops! am i exaggerating things too much?). but of course, there are still those guys that i danced with who are somehow special to me because they made an effort to look for me (which, i would say, was hard because i always went back to my sit whenever i had finished dancing with someone). List of those kindhearted guys i'm talking about: 1. Chester - first dance and never hesitated to ask me (a really really great friend) 2. Dela - "king of the dance floor" but still reserved time for me 3. Brian - promised to dance with me and actually did it! (can you believe that? lol.) 4. Riel - has always been a kind friend, can never doubt anything about that 5. Mark - last dance, saved me from having mendel as my last dance (whew!) Note: wait for the next entry. thank you letters for my high school friends coming soon! | | |
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